Why We Subconsciously Love To Create Problems For Ourselves

Thought Catalog

I think most people could objectively look at their lives and see how frequently the problems they had were of their own making, their suffering self-inflicted. We absolutely love to make problems for ourselves, and we do it all the time.

We worry needlessly, we choose immobility, we resist acceptance, we externalize our power, we surrender our ability to choose when really, it’s up to us to decide how we react, when we change, what we entertain our minds with. It’s yet another symptom of our own masochism to say that we don’t have a choice in the matter.

And we do it because we love it. There’s something… fun… in making problems for ourselves. There is something we keep returning to. Whether it be because we feel we deserve it, that it gives our lives meaning, that it gives us human credibility for having been through something – anything – we want 

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16 Ways To Identify Someone Who Is “Selectively Social”

Thought Catalog


1. You are very frank and loud at home or when you are with your friends but you turn into a timid shy ball when you are with people you hardly know.

2. You are the entertainer in your friends circle but you hate it when your friends expect you to entertain in front of a crowd of strangers.

3. You are very close to just one or two friends among your friends circle. With the rest of the friends in your circle, you are comfortable being you but you are not too close. 

4. There’s an uncertainty when you agree to keep in touch with people. There are days when you want to talk to people yet there are days when you don’t want to talk to anyone.

5. When your friends ask you to join them for an outing, the first thing you ask is; “Who…

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10 Things I Wish Someone Had Told Me About Love In My 20s

Thought Catalog

Maya Kruchankova / (Shutterstock.com) Maya Kruchankova / (Shutterstock.com)

WARNING: This is a very Debbie Downer list, but if it speaks to even one person and it helps them adjust their expectations even the tiniest bit, I will be ecstatic.

1. Love is not a fairy tale.

Romance novels, chick flicks, rom-coms, and fairy tales exist not because their stories are within the realm of possibility. They exist because we WISH they would happen and we WISH that life was that simple. I was terribly naïve when I was younger; I believed that those stories existed because they were the gold standard of relationships and that if I had any self-respect I would hold out for my knight in shining armor.

2. Your lover is not a mind-reader.

Your significant other cannot read your mind and may be unable to pick up the thread of what you are hinting at, even if YOU…

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5 Of The Realest (And Hardest) Things You Won’t See Coming In Your Early 20s

Thought Catalog


You are entering a critical stage of life. You are no longer living care-free where all you had to worry about was school work. You have now crossed the starting line to adulthood. Apart from all the typical boring stuff that you have to face like getting a degree or planning your future career, one major factor that will impact you the most is your social life. It will not be all rainbows and butterflies, so here is 5 of the realest things you’ll have to tough out in your 20s:

1. You will lose your friends

This might come as a surprise but yes, you will lose some of your friends. Some, who you thought would be there for a lifetime, will eventually leave. I know your teenage years have been all about them and you probably have one of those “BFFs Forever” friendship bands which is an assurance…

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25 Struggles Only INFPs Will Understand

Thought Catalog

INFPs have been called the “Children of the Myers Briggs World”, and it’s pretty true. True idealists, we see the best in everyone and everything, processing everything in our rich internal world and constantly dreaming about how the world could be a better place. With similar functions to ENFPs, we are often mistaken to be them. So, in light of the recent list of ENFP struggles, here’s a list of 25 things that INFPs go through. . .well, in my own head, at least. ! !

1. Literally crying after being around people for an extended period of time.

2. Intensely caring about other people but being overwhelmed by their company simultaneously.

3. People constantly mistaking you for an extravert because you act goofy to cover up the fact that crowds make you impossibly uncomfortable.

4. Saying something out loud while with other people that strays about 4 trains of…

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18 Struggles Of Having An Outgoing Personality But Actually Being Shy And Introverted

Thought Catalog

This… this is my soul song, people. This is my Vietnam.

1. You’re not anti-social, you’re selectivelysocial.

2. Atany given point, you have one (maybe two) best friends who areyour entire life.You’re not a “group of friends” person. You can’t keep up with all that.

3. Social gatherings that are supposed to be “rites of passage” like prom and dances and other such typical nonsense is just… not for you. You don’t understand it. You want nothing to do with it.

4. When you do choose tograce a party with your presence, you are thelife of it.You’re dancing on the table and doing body shots until 3 a.m.

5. … You then retreat into three days of complete solitude to recover.

6. You go out of your way to avoid people, but when you inevitably have to interact with them, you make it seem like…

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7 Novels You Should Curl Up With If You Want A Good Cry

Thought Catalog


1. What Alice Forgot by Liane Moriarty


So, this book is about a woman who falls down in the gym when she’s 39, gets amnesia, and wakes up thinking she’s 29 years old, still married, and pregnant with her first child. When she realizes that she is now divorced with three children and is the Worst Human In The History Of Humans and nobody likes her, things start to get really real.

I read this book while on vacation in Palm Springs over the summer and, instead of enjoying the sunshine or, you know, like leaving the hotel room, I spent an entire day on the hotel bed reading this book and taking breaks to sob. Fun times!

2. Orphan Train by Christina Baker Kline


I can’t even give a synopsis of this book without giving away all the best parts. Let’s just say there’s a young girl who…

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